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HOW ARE YOU CONNECTING?
Burnout, addiction, loneliness, hopelessness: the antidote to all of these begins with connection. Make time for starting or renewing friendships. Who is that person that makes you laugh? What about that friend whose conversations leave you with a fresh perspective? Call them. As a leader, reboot and get back out there. Strike up conversations with people you have been avoiding. Introduce the emerging leaders who work for you to others who can offer them opportunities. Invite people to join you for a walk at lunchtime. Everybody wins when you turn towards others and spend a little time giving your attention.
HOW ARE YOU ADDING VALUE TO THOSE WHO CONNECT WITH YOU?
Think of the time waste that most social media apps are. We find ourselves returning to them out of habit but often feel worse for it because there is nothing of value there. Look at your habitual responses and actions and find something new to try. Learn about something outside your comfortable expertise. What are you curious about and where are you stretching your interest muscles? Examine if people leave their interactions with your “app” energized or depleted.
WHAT MECHANISMS HAVE YOU PUT IN PLACE TO DETER IDENTITY THEFT?
There are a lot of people who will tell you who you ought to be. We also fall into trying to be someone we are not, trying to please others or be perfect, believing we are not good enough. No app – or person – is going to make everyone happy or be completely glitch-free. This upgrade section is about clarifying and remembering your boundaries. Is it time for a revisit of your priority values? Identifying those will help you to know what is negotiable and what is not, making boundary setting easier.
HOW DO YOU PREVENT VIRUSES?
We are at risk of leadership viruses when our egos overtake our grounded selves. When we neglect to practice good “ego hygiene” we find ourselves taking things personally and getting defensive. This creates a weakened state that allows in viruses like low self-confidence and inefficiency. To prevent viruses: practice gratitude. Stay humbly aware of strengths and weaknesses. Let go of things we can’t control. Just like daily exercise for your physical health, your leadership app needs a daily system inquiry of, “What do I and what don’t I have control over?”
WHAT MESSAGES ARE YOU AMPLIFYING?
As a leader, you have more influence than you probably realize and as humans, we have competing tendencies. We can lead with our “schismo-genesis” (a new term I just learned that is fun to say and refers to our natural drive to have in-groups and out-groups). It is human nature to fight for our team to win and the other to lose. This “in-grouping” may be linked to our need to belong as essential to our very survival. BUT. We are also wired to cooperate and empathize. Think of the athlete who forfeits the win to help a fallen opponent. Make a deliberate decision to build capacity for this drive to heal. When you speak, look for ways to be inclusive and identify common ground. Avoid putting people or situations into labels or buckets. Be the CEO of “communication that drives our reunification as humans.” (If we all commit to this, we will begin to shrink the divide that so hurts us all, in and out of work).
WHAT’S YOUR APP’S LONG-TERM IMPACT ON THE FUTURE?
China created a 100-year plan in 1949. The people who came up with this plan obviously knew they would not live to see its result. We set goals for this quarter, this year, this “phase” of our lives and careers; but what are you working on that will outlive you? If you started putting effort and focus into something that would make a difference 100 years from now, what about your life - and leadership - would change?
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